Why do we care more about what our critics say? How would it be if we just allowed our cheerleaders our council? I dont mean for them to just inflate our ego ( you are of course AWESOME, dont forget that) but rather the people in our lives who tell us how it is and who want to see us grow and expand. In order for us to truly grow, that might (actually, probably) will include some feelings of ouch, holy sh%t and moments of uh, no actually what the F*CK am I doing!!! But this growth is essential for our lives, business, love, creativity to flourish.
So I have spent hours in the past fretfully worrying about what Jo/anne Bloggs will say if I do x. The first time someone criticised a workshop for my Soul Confidence programme I was advertising on Facebook I felt like I had been slapped. It was painful. When you are doing what you love, when you are your product, when you are visible in your job, business, life you want people to get it and like you. We are designed to “fit” in with our tribe so back in the day we wouldn’t be ostracized. Biology and evolution play a huge part. And so does our ego. I wanted to hide for a few minutes after that happened. Then I wanted to take on the critic. But I reached out to my cheerleaders, my partner, my true friends, the Damsels in Success community and I realised what Brene Brown talks about in her book Daring Greatly
“If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.
If you have constructive criticism you want to give me, I want it.
But if you’re in the cheap seats, not putting yourself on the line, and just talking about how I can do it better, I’m not interested in your feedback.”
Something I want to explore at a later date with you all, is this idea of being attached and unattached. See I care, deeply. About what I do, about people doing what they do and loving it. About us all having fufilled lives and owning our goddam worth. But I’ve moved away from being attached to the emotional reactions in this and more to the outcome. I will share more on this later as it’s been huge in my recent transformation of stepping into owning my value. At the moment though I want you to remember something I have written on one of my inspiration boards. “Who are you living your life for?? You cant get through life without being judged” So surround yourself with people who love you and as Dolly P says “get to living!”
Here are three strategies that I use that I would love to share with you
- Continue to connect with YOU – For me, this is my Soul Confidence practice. Every day I bring it. Connecting mind, body and breath to experience what it is I want to experience in this moment to bring that to the people I’m here to share my life with. How do you find quiet time each day for you, to listen and to strengthen the love and peace you want to experience?
- Find your tribe – You will always have neg people around. You will always need to experience those people who are your “spiritual teachers” (This is anyone who in other words might do your nut in) So why not surround yourself with cheerleaders and people who just get it. Who will say “yeah go for it, and let me help you” or who will say”yep, failing sucks, feel what you need to feel then see what’s next on your journey”
- Know your worth and why – Before my worth was a faint inkling that I was here to really live and love and now its in every cell of my body and beat of my heart. And when the shit hits the fan, you are having a wobble or a whine then get back to your WHY! Why do you want to do what you do OR why do you want to experience something other to what you are experiencing.
Now! If this has struck a chord – I would love to hear from you. Comment and share away. Connect with me if you feel inspired to.
Want to go further? Simply comment below OR drop me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like the FREE journal worksheet to go alongside this with some amazing tips and techniques on how to deepen these strategies in your life!